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I dont know if I love him, but I know hes worth waiting for.
(Source: staypozitive)
I love how we can just look at each other & smile & I feel so comfortable around you, but I know in my head that its nothing like the butterflies I get when I see Brandon. I know that there is a difference between the wanting to spend time & laugh with Lance that the wanting to spend time & laugh/kiss Brandon.
Im not gonna lie though, I dont think Id say no to Lance if he ever made an advance. Or if were still good friends when I get to university….
IDK Im thinking out loud. I just loved how we would like communicate with our eyes & smiles cause we knew what we were thinking. Im sure he is gonna be my good friend for a really long time - weve got a lot in common.
Im excited for stupid little stuff.
Im excited about when I go off to university, like doing my own laundry & grocery shopping & stuff.
Im excited this coming semester to take a weekend & drive up to San Antonio & meet up with my friends & go to six flags with friends.
Im excited about going to class all day on several days next semester & doing homework.
Im excited about getting to drive myself to out of town shows now.
I think I should just get a jeep - I really want one, I cant not want one. Ive worked so hard & even if 80% of all my future paychecks go to car payment, gas & insurance, I think I can live with that considering I dont spend money anyway.
Itd be nice to get a different car that was maybe newer & got better gas mileage & didnt cost as much, but its no jeep.
Im heavily considering not going for ASM just on the premise that I want to date my co-worker.
Im looking at Jeeps right now & Im so stoked. I hope to get a car before the end of summer & I promised Sam & Lance & Liza & Andrea that Im taking everyone on a celebratory trip to Six Flags when I get my car. - Its going to be so much fun.
Im upset about stupid stuff.
About how I look.
About my college plans.
About the fact that one of my best guy friends is probably going to start dating one of my other friends & thats just setting things up to be awkward.
I love music.
Thats what Im thinking about as I half hope I walk into work tomorrow & see him. Im 80% sure I wont see him and if I think that I wont be disappointed. This is going to be the 11th week without him & I want to stop feeling this, but faith is my middle name afterall.
Im just writing this cause its late & I know I hope hes there, but I kinda dont think he will be.
Reasons to keep hoping: We were unbelievably cute. He made me feel like no one else in the entire world.
Reasons to give up: There is no definite reason, just inklings.
Talked to Janell about KHS prom & how Connor would like hold her & kissed her, despite him telling her he didnt want anything relationship wise after prom. WTF dude.
Weird moment when this girl came through my line & was like idk, kinda weird & was kinda raising hell, and when she walked away I turned to Josh & was like “Im gonna assume you know her?” It was weird cause she appeared so young like in high school & then Josh told me it was his crazy ex-girlfriend, and by crazy, he meant literally crazy, bipolar, manic depressed. And Im just like wtf. what do I say. But like I felt bad because Ive been depressed and I guess by definition crazy cause I used to hurt myself & still want to hurt myself and who is sane & normal that wants to hurt themselves. Honestly she did seem crazy though.
Apparently I received a customer compliment today. Kelly told me that a customer told her I was really friendly & had a beautiful smile. I cant tell you how many people have told me I have either a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes or beautiful hair. I never know what to say & it usually makes me feel awkward.
I love my job. A lot.
Good conversations.
I talked to Stephen a little more about becoming an ASM cause I think were both starting to think about the future & everything & honestly I was really happy when he asked me if I was going to apply & I said, maybe, probably & he was like itd be cool for us to both be ASMs.
So after the attempted theft, Josh & I did all the returns from their order & while I was doing bags & he was line voiding their order & I asked him about deterring theft & just scams like that & we just talked about an ASMs job & I told him I was just curious cause Im trying to figure out if I should apply for ASM when the position is open & he said I should go for it, which coming from Josh, thats really big. I finished up bags & damages & before I was walking out (I asked him, Well why should I apply? like whats the good, because theres a lot of suck in being an ASM & he didnt answer, so I left it alone) he goes ‘To answer your question, its one of the best feelings to get to work & people say stuff like “Thank god ‘so&so’ is here!” or “Are you closing tonight?” cause they hope you are’ & he just told me that it was worth it & I would be a good ASM, if I just calm down ;)
I just hope Wendy opens it soon so I can apply & hopefully Stephen applies too & we both get it & I hope this all would happen before too long into summer so Josh could train us before he leaves.
Funny part of tonight. - It was time for my last break & I told Josh to skip it & hes like “Go on your break” & Im like “Yeah, but returns need doing” & he just kept telling me to go on my break & Im like “I havent had my last break in like a week, its fine” & hes just like “You obviously havent closed with me in awhile”, “Can I please skip it?” “You can go on your break or go home” “Ill go clock out!” & I head for the time clock & hes like “No, no, no, go on your break” - took a super quick break, like 10 minutes & when I get back Josh is just like “That was not 10 minutes, go back & start over - Well keep restarting your break until you take the whole thing” “You might as well send me home now, cause you cant get me to take the whole thing” - Then he just let it go & let me work on returns.
I love my job a lot.
Im really glad that I talked to Andrew today cause he convinced me I should just get my Jeep - everyone keeps talking about how much gas & insurance is going to cost & discouraging me, but Andrew just told me to go for it cause Im completely funding this thing & it better be something I love & gas isnt THAT bad & insurance isnt THAT bad & my love for the car will make up for that.
Im making this post to remind myself of that.
