Ive never had so much eye contact & no words with someone before.

We always catch each other staring at one another. Sometimes I’ll pretend Im staring at something behind him or next to him til he looks away, but then sometimes, our eyes just kinda meet until we both say What?….. peanut butter.

I know what Darcy says makes sense, but just cause it doesnt make sense on paper doesnt mean it doesnt make sense.

Im excited to see if theres anything here - It certainly seems like there is, but how would I know?

• Him: *His hand to the side of his face his eyes peeking through until our eyes meet - then he puts the hand back*
• Me: *Scoffs* How rude!
• Him: *laughs* Whats up?
• Me: Im not talking to you now. *hand to the side of my face*
•  -seconds pass-
• Me: Okay, Im too nice not to talk to you.
• Him: Whats up? *smiles*

I love when he says things in french & spanish. He knows its cute.

“Excuse moi”

“Gracias senorita”

Just ugh.

Im so proud of how little Ive eaten in this past week.

Im still afraid to step on the scale & start counting numbers though.

The suckiest part of knowing you have feelings for someone else is know that those feelings mean that that person can kinda have a say in your happiness. 

I just want to know up front if Ive got a shot.

I dont want to go through this to be crushed or to humiliate myself.

I want to either focus on making my feelings go away or mustering up the courage to do something about the feelings.

I just endulged in 3 cookies. bleeeh.

I ate 5 crackers & now I feel so full.

I like that it only takes 5 crackers to stop the growling in my stomach.

I love the feeling of being empty though.

I couldn’t get him off my mind all day. He even crept into my dreams

Why do I like him this much? I barely know him.

I was so dizzy much of the day from lack of food.

Cynthia came over & was talking to me how shes trying to eat a certain way to support Matt while he does a detox & thats why shes hardly eaten & Im just thinking ‘Ive hardly eaten cause I want to be thin’